Last week my kids went to Vacation Bible School. They did what any kid normally does at vacation bible school. There was singing, craft time, games and more. It was same ol’, same ol’ even in one part that I didn’t want to be the same.
You see last year as I picked our oldest up one day from VBS I was handed a letter. I opened the letter in our van and my heart sank to the floor. What could be in a letter that caused that reaction?
The letter informed me that on that day during what this church calls the Big Show, my daughter had accepted Christ.
I know what you’re thinking, “That’s great news! As a Christian, why aren’t you excited?”.
First of all it was because I didn’t want to find out that information from a form letter. Secondly, she had not said one word about it to me in the 20 minutes since I first picked her up from VBS.
As a christian, the day that I accepted Christ is the most memorable day of my life. I remember the call of Christ on my life and how I felt the second that I decided that I could no longer deny Him. There was a change in me and I am forever changed.
When you trust Christ with your life, you’re not going to breeze through life without pain or sorrow. Life is still life – it’s hard, rugged, torturous at times and even frightening. Believing in Christ doesn’t remove that, it simply gives you a belief that you’re climbing that mountain for a reason and most importantly, you’re not alone in it.
I’m not writing this to preach or make you conform to my faith.
I’m writing those words because I want you to understand that this is how much it means to me that my children accept Christ as their Savior. It is a life or death decision to christians, not a worldly life but an eternal life.
It’s not a choice that I can make for them or pressure them into. It’s a choice that they have to make for themselves and stand behind that choice for the rest of their lives, no matter the trials that come their way.
So you see, the last possible way I want to hear this news is in a form letter with a fake signature.
My daughter never mentioned one thing to me. Later that afternoon I asked her if she had gone up to the stage during the Big Show that day and she told me that she had. When I asked why she told me it was because all her friends did.
I threw the letter away.
This year I took them back to the same VBS because it’s the church where they go to Awanas and have so many friends there.
My plan was to talk with them on Thursday about the altar call and ask them not to go up but to talk to us instead if they had questions. I had my days mixed up and the altar call was Wednesday.
Once again I went to pick up my children and this year I was handed two letters, one for each of my older two girls. One of them being the one that received the letter last year.
I walked up to my middle child’s VBS room and my heart sunk. There standing by the door was the VBS teacher, holding a handful of letters – about one for every child still in the room.
She handed me the letter and said “good news! Your child accepted Christ today!”.
And this is what I most regret. My response out of anger at the situation (not at her) was “Yea I get one every year and I just throw them in the trash”. Her face fell. I still feel bad. Her intentions were good, mine were not.
That child still has not said one word to me about the altar call that she responded to and this is the child that we have considered bribing to stop talking in the past.
We left that room and went down a few halls and some stairs to pick up my oldest. Everywhere there was letters. Parents or children holding them, it seemed like they were papering the halls. Hundreds of letters must have gone home that day.
And for the second year in the row they handed me the same exact letter that I had received the year before saying my daughter has accepted Christ.
And for the second year in a row my heart fell ten stories.
This year I threw away two letters.
It probably is easier to hand out letters to make sure every child’s parent is notified since some come with friends. However they do have the phone numbers of every child’s parents. Why not call or better yet do more to reach out to people face to face?
A letter instructing them to set up an appointment to talk about their decision further is not follow up or counseling on the issue to make sure they understand the depth of their decision – it’s an out. It’s a way to say “there’s too many but we did our best and the ones that truly meant it will call and take action”.
My fear beyond fear is that many of these children will go through life believing that they have given their life to Christ yet in truth they just followed everyone else and truly never knew what they were doing. They never actually made their decision and will become bitter at Christ for not doing all the things that VBS promised them He would do if they just say the prayer.
It’s not just reciting words to a prayer that someone leads you through – it’s SO MUCH MORE.
Let me say that they people that volunteer and help with VBS have hearts of gold. They do plant seed and do so much in the lives of these kids to help them make that choice for Christ. They’re there for the right reasons and they are so successful at loving these children and showing them the light of God.
Honestly I do not believe the leadership is doing it in ill will, even when they know that kids are simply following each other forward during the altar call. They love kids and they want to see them make the right decisions. They’re just going about it wrong, in my opinion.
Animal hoarders want to save all the animals. They don’t want anyone to hurt an animal or abandon one so they take them in. They feed them and care for the the best they possibly can. Until one day they realize that it’s out of control and their 15 animals are now 100 with many starving and very sick animals. It’s not because they didn’t love or try, it’s because they got so caught up in their mission that they forgot to occasionally take a truthful look at the situation.
This church has to stop and take a truthful look at the situation.
Kids are making emotional decisions based on other’s actions that will follow them the rest of their lives. Yes maybe there are kids really truly giving their hearts to Christ and that’s amazing! But how many more are being lead to believe that because they repeated words with no true meaning in their hearts, they are now saved forever?
How many are being lead astray by good intentions?
I did email the children’s pastor and asked a few questions, including how many letters were given out. He has offered to meet with me in person to talk about why they do it this way but he did not answer how many letters were given out that day. I might take him up on his offer, I honestly have not decided right now.
At this point we’re not sure if our daughters are going to continue any involvement with this church. But if they do – if they do go back to VBS next year with this church, which they love and adore – Than I hope more than anything that there’s a change.
I hope there’s no more letters. More than anything I hope they’ll focus more on making sure the child’s heart is understanding before they lead them through a life and eternity changing decision.
Sorry for all the heaviness. Don’t worry – there’s a great story how to spill concrete all over the place coming later this week. I just truly feel passionate about this issue and hope that there’s a change in the future.
Also comments are moderated. Any rude, evil, or mean spirited comments will be deleted.
The Salvation Letters
Last week my kids went to Vacation Bible School. They did what any kid normally does at vacation bible school. There was singing, craft time, games and more. It was same ol’, same ol’ even in one part that I didn’t want to be the same.
You see last year as I picked our oldest up one day from VBS I was handed a letter. I opened the letter in our van and my heart sank to the floor. What could be in a letter that caused that reaction?
The letter informed me that on that day during what this church calls the Big Show, my daughter had accepted Christ.
I know what you’re thinking, “That’s great news! As a Christian, why aren’t you excited?”.
First of all it was because I didn’t want to find out that information from a form letter. Secondly, she had not said one word about it to me in the 20 minutes since I first picked her up from VBS.
As a christian, the day that I accepted Christ is the most memorable day of my life. I remember the call of Christ on my life and how I felt the second that I decided that I could no longer deny Him. There was a change in me and I am forever changed.
When you trust Christ with your life, you’re not going to breeze through life without pain or sorrow. Life is still life – it’s hard, rugged, torturous at times and even frightening. Believing in Christ doesn’t remove that, it simply gives you a belief that you’re climbing that mountain for a reason and most importantly, you’re not alone in it.
I’m not writing this to preach or make you conform to my faith.
I’m writing those words because I want you to understand that this is how much it means to me that my children accept Christ as their Savior. It is a life or death decision to christians, not a worldly life but an eternal life.
It’s not a choice that I can make for them or pressure them into. It’s a choice that they have to make for themselves and stand behind that choice for the rest of their lives, no matter the trials that come their way.
So you see, the last possible way I want to hear this news is in a form letter with a fake signature.
My daughter never mentioned one thing to me. Later that afternoon I asked her if she had gone up to the stage during the Big Show that day and she told me that she had. When I asked why she told me it was because all her friends did.
I threw the letter away.
This year I took them back to the same VBS because it’s the church where they go to Awanas and have so many friends there.
My plan was to talk with them on Thursday about the altar call and ask them not to go up but to talk to us instead if they had questions. I had my days mixed up and the altar call was Wednesday.
Once again I went to pick up my children and this year I was handed two letters, one for each of my older two girls. One of them being the one that received the letter last year.
I walked up to my middle child’s VBS room and my heart sunk. There standing by the door was the VBS teacher, holding a handful of letters – about one for every child still in the room.
She handed me the letter and said “good news! Your child accepted Christ today!”.
And this is what I most regret. My response out of anger at the situation (not at her) was “Yea I get one every year and I just throw them in the trash”. Her face fell. I still feel bad. Her intentions were good, mine were not.
That child still has not said one word to me about the altar call that she responded to and this is the child that we have considered bribing to stop talking in the past.
We left that room and went down a few halls and some stairs to pick up my oldest. Everywhere there was letters. Parents or children holding them, it seemed like they were papering the halls. Hundreds of letters must have gone home that day.
And for the second year in the row they handed me the same exact letter that I had received the year before saying my daughter has accepted Christ.
And for the second year in a row my heart fell ten stories.
This year I threw away two letters.
It probably is easier to hand out letters to make sure every child’s parent is notified since some come with friends. However they do have the phone numbers of every child’s parents. Why not call or better yet do more to reach out to people face to face?
A letter instructing them to set up an appointment to talk about their decision further is not follow up or counseling on the issue to make sure they understand the depth of their decision – it’s an out. It’s a way to say “there’s too many but we did our best and the ones that truly meant it will call and take action”.
My fear beyond fear is that many of these children will go through life believing that they have given their life to Christ yet in truth they just followed everyone else and truly never knew what they were doing. They never actually made their decision and will become bitter at Christ for not doing all the things that VBS promised them He would do if they just say the prayer.
It’s not just reciting words to a prayer that someone leads you through – it’s SO MUCH MORE.
Let me say that they people that volunteer and help with VBS have hearts of gold. They do plant seed and do so much in the lives of these kids to help them make that choice for Christ. They’re there for the right reasons and they are so successful at loving these children and showing them the light of God.
Honestly I do not believe the leadership is doing it in ill will, even when they know that kids are simply following each other forward during the altar call. They love kids and they want to see them make the right decisions. They’re just going about it wrong, in my opinion.
Animal hoarders want to save all the animals. They don’t want anyone to hurt an animal or abandon one so they take them in. They feed them and care for the the best they possibly can. Until one day they realize that it’s out of control and their 15 animals are now 100 with many starving and very sick animals. It’s not because they didn’t love or try, it’s because they got so caught up in their mission that they forgot to occasionally take a truthful look at the situation.
This church has to stop and take a truthful look at the situation.
Kids are making emotional decisions based on other’s actions that will follow them the rest of their lives. Yes maybe there are kids really truly giving their hearts to Christ and that’s amazing! But how many more are being lead to believe that because they repeated words with no true meaning in their hearts, they are now saved forever?
How many are being lead astray by good intentions?
I did email the children’s pastor and asked a few questions, including how many letters were given out. He has offered to meet with me in person to talk about why they do it this way but he did not answer how many letters were given out that day. I might take him up on his offer, I honestly have not decided right now.
At this point we’re not sure if our daughters are going to continue any involvement with this church. But if they do – if they do go back to VBS next year with this church, which they love and adore – Than I hope more than anything that there’s a change.
I hope there’s no more letters. More than anything I hope they’ll focus more on making sure the child’s heart is understanding before they lead them through a life and eternity changing decision.
Sorry for all the heaviness. Don’t worry – there’s a great story how to spill concrete all over the place coming later this week. I just truly feel passionate about this issue and hope that there’s a change in the future.
Also comments are moderated. Any rude, evil, or mean spirited comments will be deleted.
Hi Bobbie, I really enjoyed your blog today. although we do not belong to the same church we are both Christians. I so agree with what you said. Accepting and wanting Christ to be part of your life is such a huge step in your life. And you are right, it changes you. I understand your concern and worry. let us know how things go. Hugs…..
Thanks Lorene!
I agree with you. The mass “saving” of children is disturbing. It’s not something that should be taken lightly. A child must first be taught what salvation is, why they need it and let that seed work in their heart. They make the decision through Christ. Not because their friends went up front so they followed. Hope this gets resolved. More importantly I hope the pastors see why this is such a huge issue.
Thanks Kelley – I agree with you. I hope they see as well.
Interesting. Until your post last week, I had never before heard of mass ‘savings’ or form letters telling that your child accepted Christ. The VBS that my kids have attended doesn’t offer that, however I remember church camps as a teen, where there was that opportunity, but that, to me, is different.
HUGS lady. I think you should take time to speak to the pastor, you listen to him, and hopefully he will listen to you.
I probably will sit down with him eventually, after emotions have died down so it can be a productive talk and not an emotionally driven one.
I certainly understand your concern.
I feel it is a way to drive up membership in their church, if so, it is as cold as the letter.
It is a personal decision for any child, and I know you discussed this with them after the letters.
Good job in expressing your concern. I am not sure a whole lot of parents showed this concerned.
Actually I posted a picture of the letters on my personal FB the day it happened and the next day I did have friends, whose kids are there, tell me that they feel the same way. I just hope they also contacted the church.
With you, 100%. And I say this as my kids are right now at the exact same VBS at the exact same church right this minute…different campus. I waited a long time and prayed tons and tons about my kids receiving Christ. My oldest didn’t seem ready. Then one night a few months ago, they both seemed ready. I prayed with both of them to invite Jesus to be their Savior and Lord. I could not have been more overjoyed BUT I’m also not kidding myself that I know for sure what was going on in their little hearts. I’m glad kids hear the gospel at VBS. I’m glad they are invited to follow Christ. But I hope they are not fooled into thinking that walk to the front with their friends is what saves them and changes their lives forever.
As someone who was part of this type of come to Jesus encounter, I commend you. As a little girl I went to church camp every summer and loved it. Every summer I came home unsaved because I never felt Jesus tugging at my heart. Then one year I attended and my camp counselor was a little pushy. She asked at the beginning of the week who wasn’t saved to which only two of us weren’t saved as everyone else had asked Jesus into their lives summers before 😉 She then told us she wanted us to accept Christ by the end of the week and every single day she checked in with us. Every day my answer was no. Until the end of the week when I decided I would finally ask Jesus into my heart so A) She would shut up and B) I could be recognized at the camp fire. I knew what I was doing when I asked Jesus in my heart and I meant it, but the reason I was saved really had nothing to do with anything but what I mentioned above. I actually cried when we announced it at church because I knew something about it wasn’t right. Years later I felt the desperate need to rededicate my life over and over again. I wish I would have experienced my “I get it” moment on my own accord.
Thanks for sharing that Jana – it takes guts to step out. Getting people to accept Christ is not the race that God told us to run. It should be genuine and age should not be a factor.
I had the same desire with my kids…not to force a relationship with Christ on them but to allow them, through my example and the example of my husband and extended family AND through church involvement, to come to a decision on their own. I did not coach them to make their decisions. Thankfully, they all chose to give their lives to Christ…and they walk with Him today (I’m an empty-nester). There were many instances when they “re-gave” their lives to Christ and I, too, have received those letters. It WAS disheartening to get a form letter or for my kids to come home with a paperback bible with a canned message inside…and no further contact. Each time, I reminded them that they had already made the decision…and that God had already saved them…assurance can be hard to come by sometimes, though.
I agree with your evaluation…an impersonal approach to a very personal God…seems a bit silly…misguided…ineffective for sure! Hopefully seeds were planted…
Thanks for this post. It’s a good reminder that in this world of social media and impersonal contact, there’s nothing more important than people interacting with people…without the computer screen!! 🙂
Thanks Heather. One of my older daughters has accepted Christ and she did it herself one night and told us the next morning. The other has not and part of me wants to do everything in my power to help her but it has to be her. She has to honestly make that decision for herself. I’m glad to hear that you share similar beliefs and that your kids all came to accept Christ. Thanks for the encouragement.
I was investigating Blog Elevated since I am a Texas Blogger and I saw this post. I almost cried thinking about it. I decided I wanted to be baptized at camp but waited until I got home to make sure it wasn’t just this “my friends were doing it” kind of thing. I talked to my mom and dad and wanted them there for the most important moment of my life. I agree with you totally!
That was a very mature decision! It is sad and hopefully things will change. I’d love to talk to you more about Blog Elevated. You can email me – Bobbie@BlogElevated.com if you have any questions. We’ll be announcing new speakers and sponsors this entire week.
My dad’s church has VBS so they can play”get the kids & families.” I wa offended by that. A form letter tops that! When do you think VBS. will be only on Facebook?
That’s sad to hear. I think VBS is amazing and fun for kids. It’s kinda like a mini church camp for the families that can’t pay several hundred dollars to send kids away for a week. But maybe the goal of it shouldn’t be to have a large return on numbers to report back that X amount were saved. Maybe it should just be to feed into these kids lives and help them establish trust with the church.
I was led to the Lord and accepted him as my savior at the knee of my Sunday School teacher when I was three years old. And I accepted Christ as my savior at summer camp when I was five, and eight, and nine and ten and also accepted Christ as my savior at countless alter calls at church and Sunday school evangelistic meetings. All the time, I heard how sin separates us from God and so, because I had sinned, since the last time I had accepted Christ, the way I saw it, I had to accept him again, and again, and again. What your blog points out to me, is that NOBODY at anytime did any proper follow up to help me understand that Christ’s sacrifice covered ALL my sins, past present and future. Somewhere, along the line, I figured it out that I am redeemed! I suppose all the people that had my best interests at hear, along the way, figured God would meet my needs and answer my questions of innocence. I hope your meeting with the youth pastor, will be highly productive in establishing awareness of the need to follow up.
Hello .. I have struggled with this with my own children! You hear people who say that their child was saved at 3 or 4 years old … while I think that its great that these children are being led in the right direction … I have often asked myself … are they really mature enough to count the cost?
I do know a few kids that made that choice that early and yes, they knew what they were doing. But those were kids of parents who are amazing witnesses for Christ. I think it just depends on a child to child basis. I think we need to remember as parents that if your child is older and still hasn’t made that decision, it’s ok! Kids are different and not all of them have to have dedicated their lives by 9 or 10. If you’re living a life for Christ and they’re in church than it will come at the right time for that child.
I’m sure they do mean well but agree with every word you have said. It’s an important decision that should also include full knowledge, and be heartfelt. Kids want to make adults happy. They want to do what will please those they look up to, But what’s more important is they they make this decision with so much joy in their heart they want to share it with others. Nice job reminding parents and church leaders. I wouldn’t want a form letter either.
Thanks Lisa.
We used to go to a church like this. I think as Christians we look at souls as notches on a belt. Thankfully God does not and sincerely seeks us and desires us. Hopefully these children will find Christ but too often in a group setting their is peer pressure at work. Thanks for posting this.
Thanks for this posting, Bobbie. I just finished up a batch of embroidered Tea Towels for a friend who is the director of VBS at a local church, to give to the volunteer teachers as an end of the year gift. So how poignant to read this posting. What you’re saying is so true and wonder how many parents understand the depth of becoming, being and living as a Christian, much less their children. But at the end of the day, as long as one child truly accepts and understands, the program was a success. I hope you lead a forum of discussion to express your concerns to the director and whoever else is involved in the planning of this VBS. I find the letter disconcerting. Maybe a craft class of your own at VBS? I am a great believer that we teach by example, and maybe your continued involvement in the church might be a way to make a change in how things are done.Until a child hits the “age of reasoning” (which varies in age number) they don’t understand the magnitude of such a decision. I agree with one of the comments, sometimes it’s like cutting a notch in the belt to show success….. Keep your spirit up and keep Crafting in Christ!
Wow those are lovely gifts! I’m sure they will really be appreciated.
Bobbie,
I found your blog as I was researching how to write such a letter to the parents of the kids in our ministries that have trusted Jesus as their Savior.
Unlike the church you mentioned above might have been doing, we don’t assume every child that responds is responding to accept Christ. First we train our counsilors to ask, “Why did you come to talk to us?” We “weed out” the ones that don’t express a desire to know Jesus. We then ask them questions about the Gospel to make sure they understand the decision they are making. If they don’t seem to be able to answer the basic questions like “Why did Jesus die on the cross”, then we thank them for responding, pray with them and then encourage them to keep listening. We give the Gospel every day in our VBS because it is an evanglical outreach. BUT, for those that DO seem to understand their decision and pray to recieve Christ…we were considering giving a letter to the parents that included both their decision/response and if their child requested a Bible, a permission form for parents to return giving us permission to give them a child friendly (in our case currently Adventure Bible) Bible.
Would you feel the same way knowing that we took these steps with your child? I know children repeat “accepting” Christ because sometimes they don’t understand that the difference between accepting Christ and daily forgiveness. We try to explain that, too. So, there is a chance that parents could get more than one letter. Even when I talk with parents I say that a child “responded” to the Gospel and asked Jesus as their Savior and if they have done that before.
Or, would you rather the church just let that child tell you? We do encourage them to tell their parents.
Would love to hear your response and I am so glad I came across your perspective before moving forward with such a letter. I hope you will find time to respond.
Thanks!
Julia, Thanks for responding and sharing your perspective. Honestly I would rather someone from the church personally approach me or call me. I get it that people might slip through the cracks and that’s why you want to send home a letter. I also honestly think that the heart behind it is what matters. If the letter was maybe worded differently and informed the parent that someone from the church would be calling to speak with them rather than just instructing them to attend a class for baptism, it would mean more. I don’t know if that helped any, probably not. I’m sorry. Please feel free to email me at Bobbie@ClumsyCrafter.com if you wish. Thank you.